If you would have talked to me last week, even two days ago, how I felt, I would have told you everything was great. Then my family and me started having "talks." Apparently I have to change and then everyone else will change. I did that once and you know what that is why I am the way I am. That is why I have these scars. I don't want to go back to the way things were and I will never go back. But the thing is that I care too much about certain things and people to cut myself off completely so I am torn. Do I go back to being nice for everyone else's sake and kill myself slowly? Or do I stay the way I am, and hurt the ones I care about? I have no clue.

HI

I know I haven't been on in a while but a lot has been going on. Life sucks as we know it. I have had to get rid of two friends already because they weren't good for me. Next I might have to say goodbye to a whole lot more people. I need to leave soon and when I do pretty much no one will no where I went except maybe one person and that is because they need to know. If anybody is ready this then don't bother calling or trying to get a hold of me because I won't answer. Sorry that is just the way it has to be now. Love everyone and I hope your life is the best. Bye

Hello, so anyway I really don't know what I am going to be doing from now on. I know I have to get a job but I also have to leave soon. I am just waiting for Jacky's graduation and party to be over but then I am going to leave and go somewhere else. I am not sure where exactly but when I know everyone else will know . Nothing is keeping me here except for Jedediah and I can still keep in touch with him. Everything is so much easier these days and me leaving will be better for everyone else also. So my mind is made up and that is that.

StillSearching StillWaiting

Weekend

So I had my last final. Yay!right. nope. I still have saturday then i have to get a job and get out. I have to say goodbye to some of my friends. These kids really have never done anything wrong but they have. I knew this day would come but I didn't think it would be this soon. I hate them for this but at the same time if they ever need anything I would be there for them in a heartbeat. I have to tell them goodbye for one last final time. This time it is for real and it really sucks because no matter what happens saturday they can't be in my life any more. I have to quit living this way. THIS SUCKS!!!!!

Finals

I feel happy today, which is weird for me. So I have two more finals and then i am free all friday. After that I am busy all day saturday. PROM! I think I will have fun. Dancing YAY! I love to dance, which sucks in my group of friends because they never want to go out dancing.
Nothing big has happen lately. I came off the medicine and have to go back to the doctor to get more or have more test run. YAY! NOT!!!!! Just wanted to update byes

So....

I have been writing these poems, but I am not going to post them at least not yet. They are kind of depressing. Not kind of, they are depressing. Anyways, I am going to prom this year, even though I have been out of high school for two years. But I am going, because I got asked and I think it will be fun. My little sister and her and my friends and then the after party it will be really fun. I think I will have more fun because I really don't know anyone except my friends. So, I will be myself.

Loves

Hellos!!

So I was going to write a poem up here but it is kind of depressing. But, HEY, guess what that is life. I was doing great then BOOM! I found out someone that I know is doing something wrong. This is the second time this year. The first one I was really pissed off at because he made a commitment, this guy I really don't know that much but I still know him. Why are guys so stupid? Who really knows? And this guy acts like he doesn't care that he is like hurting everyone he knows. STUPID!