Hey Guys

Hey guys, watz up with everyone else? Not too much here. Life has gotten so busy and everything is just up in the air right now. I am still living where I don't want to be. But I want to be in the area. Anyways, have a big convention to go to this weekend and will see the guy I like. Not that I don't see him now. Actually just saw him last Sunday and went out to eat with all of the family. I think everything is going great with it. Here's hoping. Right now the people I live with are upstairs being annoying as usual. They need to learn to control their kids, but of course they don't know how. The mom helped me get the job I have so I guess I should be a little nice, but it is really hard sometimes. As soon as she gets home from work she gets on the computer and gets on Myspace or Facebook and stays on there until she decides to go to sleep. During all this her husband (who just got off of work also) is cooking supper, doing laundry and dishes, and watching the two children. I don't know about you guys but I think that is just plain lazy. Anyways just wanted to vent.

Loves,

Reality Check

Is it okay to love someone without ever actually going out with them? I first saw him when I was 15 at my sister's friends graduation party. Ever since them I can't stop thinking about him. I wonder is this just a case of not having what I want or is it something deeper and more meaningful?

Checking In

So what is new? Nothing much. I have a job and a new place to live and in about 6 months will have another new place to live, but with people I actually want to live with. I am finally within a talking distance to the guy I like, but who will never know I exist, unless... I have to do something about it. I think I might just get up on the stage and yell it across to the whole audience and then he has to do something right? I just hope it will be good. I am really trying to be good but sometimes it is just really hard. I just hope that people accept me for what I am right now and not for who I was back then. I know life kind of sucks right now but I am trying to make it right and I hope that my friends will stick with me in the meantime. Loves,

today....

my grandpa died.......

you want to tell me the point to life now!?

If you would have talked to me last week, even two days ago, how I felt, I would have told you everything was great. Then my family and me started having "talks." Apparently I have to change and then everyone else will change. I did that once and you know what that is why I am the way I am. That is why I have these scars. I don't want to go back to the way things were and I will never go back. But the thing is that I care too much about certain things and people to cut myself off completely so I am torn. Do I go back to being nice for everyone else's sake and kill myself slowly? Or do I stay the way I am, and hurt the ones I care about? I have no clue.

HI

I know I haven't been on in a while but a lot has been going on. Life sucks as we know it. I have had to get rid of two friends already because they weren't good for me. Next I might have to say goodbye to a whole lot more people. I need to leave soon and when I do pretty much no one will no where I went except maybe one person and that is because they need to know. If anybody is ready this then don't bother calling or trying to get a hold of me because I won't answer. Sorry that is just the way it has to be now. Love everyone and I hope your life is the best. Bye

Hello, so anyway I really don't know what I am going to be doing from now on. I know I have to get a job but I also have to leave soon. I am just waiting for Jacky's graduation and party to be over but then I am going to leave and go somewhere else. I am not sure where exactly but when I know everyone else will know . Nothing is keeping me here except for Jedediah and I can still keep in touch with him. Everything is so much easier these days and me leaving will be better for everyone else also. So my mind is made up and that is that.

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